Severus Snape's Diary
by DessDoe
Summary: Severus Snape's point of view from Harry's first year.
1. Chapter 1

_September 1, 1991_

_About 9:30 pm, after The Start of Term Feast_

Potter has arrived at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I recognized him instantly; same jet black hair, same glasses, same everything, except the eyes. Lily's eyes.

He strutted up to the Sorting stool, placed the damn hat on his stupid head, and was sorted into Gyffindor. Thank goodness, I do not know _what_ I would have done if Potter were Sorted into my house.

Well, the feast was good anyway. Until right in the middle, when Quirrell started talking. Blah blah this, blah blah that. All that I was thinking was 'You do _not_ look good in purple.' Seriously, why does he keep that stupid turban on his head? And purple, of all colors!

Well, I finally broke it off with him, telling him that making the vampires _eat_ the garlic was more effective then smelling. I was right of course. Damn Quirrell, learn your own subject.

Anyway, as I looked away from Quirrell I saw _her _staring at me. No, him. I have got to stop seeing Lily in the Potter boy. These are going to be seven _long _years.

_September 4, 1991_

_A moment before lunch, in the middle of a class with Potter_

_Thursday, thank God._

_(Why Thursday?)_

A few lyrics to a song that I have not heard in years came to mind today; _Today was the worst day, I went through hell, I wish I could remove it from my mind._

I have _not _had a good day. Besides tormenting the hell out of Potter, my day has been a total (do I dare say it?) flop.

I have not gotten _anything_ done. But, before I go into my day, I have to tell you about my first year class that I'm teaching.

Ok, so we have people like Longbottom, who you could not tell you the right answer if he were hanging upside down by his toe and getting whipped by Filch. And then we have people like the Granger girl, a bossy little know it all (literally) girl who would answer every single question for you if she could.

All Gyffindor, of course.

Now, my day…..

Am too tired. Will tell another time.


	2. Chapter 2 Bad, and Going For Worse

_September 5, 1991_

_Friday_

So, as promised, about yesterday.

It all started when my alarm clock went off. I had gotten up about a half hour early and forgot to turn it off. Well, when it went off, it shocked me so bad that my glass of wine (at 4 am? And then I wonder why I don't have friends) spilled onto my bed. So now, Filch thinks I'm a drunk. Actually, that's kind of true, but still, he doesn't have to know.

Anyway, then it was breakfast, when I walked by a first year girl who said, in a carrying whisper might I add; "Do you think Snape's cute?"

I took fifty points from Ravenclaw and suggested she go find a randy first year to crush on. Cute. I am _not_ supposed to be cute. I am supposed to be 'the big bad teacher that everyone is afraid of'. Cute, I ask…

Then, my lessons….

You know what? I'm not even going to go into that. Let's just leave it at a first year Ravenclaw (what the hell is with the Ravenclaws all the sudden?) tricked me into calling myself an idiot. Another fifty points for Ravenclaw to a first years cause. Though, I may not be very fair, I do _think _fair. And that really was _not_ fair. I mean, he _was_ talking to the man drinking wine at 4 am.

Dinner, probably the highlight of my bad day, that is, if you were highlighting the worst part.

Hagrid took it upon himself to stick a spoon in my shoulder. Honestly, I had to go to Madam Pomfrey to get it out. And it was my favorite meal. Damn him…

So that was my day. And now I write this at 4 in the morning because I forgot to turn my alarm off while drinking a glass of milk, resulting in Filch not only thinking I'm a drunk, but I play with myself too.

Wonderful.


	3. Chapter 3 Why Is Life So Unfair to Me?

_September 7, 1991_

_Sunday_

Sunday, how curious. Sunday as in 'sun day'?

Yes, the weather is beautiful. Everybody keeps laying on the grounds, a cup of cold lemonade in their hand, and doing their homework under the shade of a tree.

I must admit, I was tempted to join them. I have about 500 essays to correct, but it would have meant going under a tree, lying on the ground (in my 50 Galleon robes, might I add,) and wait for the bugs to attack me. That also, in my mind, just screams '_Here birdie, birdie, birdie! Your piss pot is over here! Come on, don't be shy, just go and fuck on Severus Snape.'_

Pardon my language, but really, that's what it felt like.

_September 9,1991_

_Tuesday_

Filch thought that it would be amusing to knock on my door, place a basket in front of it, then run. When I opened my door I really freaked out. Really, you would too if you found a basket of kittens on it. Also, to add to my temper, a five step cure to drinking problems. Then, under _that_, a disk labeled '_A Night's Romance by John Geuleinback' _

Why, I ask, does the world hate me so much? And now I ask myself weather I would hate the world right back if it had just been good to me.

October 21, 1991

I found my journal in the bottom of my potions ingredients cupboard. _Who has been in my rooms?_

And why.


	4. Chapter 4 Filch, Weasley, and a Troll

_October 23, 1991_

_Wednesday_

I really think someone has been in my quarters. Even the thought of it makes me shiver. Why me? Why not someone as annoying as Quirrell? Or Dumbledore? Hell, even one of the students.

Just. Not. Me.

_October 28_

_Tuesday_

I just found out some of the most disturbing news of my life; Filch is gay. How….. what do you even call that? Disturbing is only the beginning.

_Later_

Just found Percy Weasley out doing his rounds. When he saw me, he puffed out his chest as if someone besides Mummy and Daddy cared about him. Then I told him he should go to Madam Pomfrey for 'chest outage' if you know what I mean. Told him he looked like he had some sort of tumor in his chest. I find myself still snickering. Perfect way to end my night.

_October 31, 1991_

_Halloween_

My night started out perfectly normal. As normal as you get on Halloween, that is. Well right in the middle of the feast, Quirrell run through the Great Hall doors screaming "Troll! Troll in the dungeon! Troll in the dungeon!" When he was right in front of Dumbledore he said "Thought you ought to know." Then he sunk into a clear faint.

Everyone started screaming. I myself, was frightened. How did a troll get into Hogwarts? Then Dumbledore told the prefects to take everyone to their common rooms and the teachers follow him to the dungeons.

Well, I was through the Great Hall doorway when I saw Quirrell. He sat up and headed towards the door too. I was about to suggest he go suck on his thumb in the top most tower, but I realized he wasn't behind me. I turned around and saw him walking in a totally different direction. I followed. He was heading into the forbidden room on the third floor! Well, I followed. He was battling Hagrid's three headed dog when I came in.

Only, it changed targets.

Well, sort of.

Two of its heads were still going for Quirrell, but one change direction and went for me.

I heard a crash in the distance.

I protected Quirrell and was about to protect myself when it bit me. Right on the leg. I grabbed Quirrell and got the hell out of there, ran towards the dungeons.

Well, I saw all the other teachers were running towards the girls bathroom. I motioned him to follow. Once we were inside I swore in disbelief.

There, all in the bathroom was Granger, Ron Weasley, and Potter. Oh, and the troll next to them. I heard Mcgonagall taking (once again, to my disbelief) _five_ points from Gryffindor. I bent low and looked at the troll. It looked almost adult, somewhere between five and six. However five or six years in a troll could still crush three first years in one swipe. And the club that lay ten feet away. Gods, I'm actually kind of glad they survived, not many would have. Why, Quirrell was scared into the Great Hall, screaming at Albus.

Quirrell…


	5. Chapter 5 Dumbledore,JamJars,and Books

_November 1, 1991_

_Sunday_

Quirrell is trying, and apparently failing (*sighs in relief*) to get past that three headed dog. It is really weird to think that five days ago, I was worried about someone breaking into my quarters. Hell, people could have _died_ last night. I've always hated Potter, and now his son? Well, I don't (and in James case didn't) want them dead. Along with the Granger girl and one of the Weasleys. Well, if Ronald _did _go missing, Molly wouldn't find the body for a day of two I suppose, but still.

And Quirrell, I can't _believe_ it! He tried to get to the SS! (I won't say what that is in case this falls into the wrong hands (possibly again.)

I got bitten, damn it. Can't believe it.

Ok, so I went to Dumbledore thismorning to talk about Potter and how he should be kicked out, but all Albus said was "You see what you expect to see Severus. Other teachers report that the boy is modest, likeable, and reasonably talented. Personally, I find him an engaging child." And then, without looking up from that stupid magazine he was reading he said to me "Keep an eye on Quirrell, won't you?" Oh, _sure _Dumbledore, I'll just look after my most hated student. You know, to make sure that he doesn't get _killed_ or anything like that. B'cuz God only _knows_ how many ways that there is to do _that _in this place.

God I was freezing as I was walking to the dungeons, I saw scarhead with his three friends. They were all huddled around something. I walked up to them. I saw (and I almost smiled) that they were huddled around a little jam jar with a flame inside it, trying to stay warm. I wanted to tell them off, but I pretended not to see the jam jar (it _is_ mid-fall after all). So I told Potter to give me a library book he was holding.

Not so bad really.

_Later_

Well, I gave into the pain. Went to see Filch. He gave me bandages and healing remedies (as if I couldn't make them myself, right?). I _am_ thankful. But right in the middle I heard Potter at the door. I told him to get out. He muttered something about a book before shutting the door.

Wait a minute. A _book_?

*sighs*


	6. Chapter 6 American Idiot

_November 5, 1991_

_Saturday_

Has _anyone_ seen Peeves? He seems to have gone missing. The staff have decided not to tell the students, it would get their hopes up to much. The last time anyone saw him was Thursday. He was pouring ink on that poor Katie Bell's head. Poor girl, she was never the brightest.

Well, what a long week this has been. I find myself craving a beer, which is unexplainable beacause I only drink wine. Gods, that sounds terrible. Maybe I _should _quit drinking. But, with that being said, it would probaly be impossible for me _to _stop drinking; it runs on both sides of my family. Just my dad's side a little more so.

Ok, I need to _stop._ I'm going to kill myself one of these days (no, not suicide, just running into something, or something like that).

_November 10, 1991_

_Thursday_

_(Yay!)_

_(WTF was that!)_

Hi, I say that now because I know who has been taking this... 'book I write in'. It was a little Hufflepuff first year. Poor girl, I really did feel bad for her. All she was trying to do was...

Wait a moment, what _was_ she trying to do?

*sighs*

_Later_

I heard a weird song today. I think it was a Muggle on a wizard program. Whoever it was, they need to keep making songs, because that was the best one i've ever heard (as far as Muggle music anyway).

It went like this;

_Don't want to be an American idiot.  
>Don't want a nation under the new media<br>And can you hear the sound of hysteria?  
>The subliminal mind fuck America.<em>

Welcome to a new kind of tension.  
>All across the alien nation.<br>Where everything isn't meant to be okay.  
>Television dreams of tomorrow.<br>We're not the ones who're meant to follow.  
>For that's enough to argue.<p>

Well maybe I'm the faggot America.  
>I'm not a part of a redneck agenda.<br>Now everybody do the propaganda.  
>And sing along to the age of paranoia.<p>

Welcome to a new kind of tension.  
>All across the alien nation.<br>Where everything isn't meant to be okay.  
>Television dreams of tomorrow.<br>We're not the ones who're meant to follow.  
>For that's enough to argue.<p>

Don't want to be an American idiot.  
>One nation controlled by the media.<br>Information age of hysteria.  
>It's calling out to idiot America.<p>

Welcome to a new kind of tension.  
>All across the alien nation.<br>Where everything isn't meant to be okay.  
>Television dreams of tomorrow.<br>We're not the ones who're meant to follow.  
>For that's enough to argue.<p>

Wow, not even in America and I like it.

_Later_

What and odd way to end an entry. Anyway, back to Peeves.

Filch is in the best mood that I've ever seen him and that includes_ my _years at Hogwarts. He keeps skipping in the halls. Gods the_ Daily Prophet _should do a report on it. I can see the the headline now; _Squib Skips, Students Baffled'. _I_ almost _laughed as Filch came down a hall-way, skiping and singing at the top of his voice; '_Were of to see the Wizard_', never mind the scared looking students.

Must go get him out of his good mood.

_Even Later_

Apears that I was not alone in the idea. A third year HUfflepuff caused enough mischeif to make even the Weasley twins proud. Am not suposed to be happy but...

*cough* Mrs. Norris into a teacup *cough*


	7. Chapter 7 ChristmasinHogsHead tomorrow

_November 30, 1991_

_Tuesday_

Does _anyone_ dislike Christmas? I feel like I'm the neighbor in _Deck the Halls_ every time I turn a corridor. Teachers are actually coming up to me, and telling me to get into the spirit. _It's November! _Six more days _and then _you can get to putting up Christmas trees. Why, those chocolate calendars haven't even started yet.

On a happier note, the Granger girl is going home for the holidays next Monday, which means Potter and Weasley will be more prone to trouble without someone to talk them out of it. I also believe that Malfoy and Potter are planning something this evening. In the trophy room. That's all I heard. But that's enough.

_Later _

I was out doing my rounds and I spotted Weasley, Granger, Longbottom, and Potter all running. I looked their way and stepped into another corridor, whistling. I did _not _want to deal with trouble making students at the moment, I'm just too tired.

_December 5, 1991_

_Sunday_

I hate Dumbledore.

He said that all the staff (and Hagrid) must get into 'the holiday spirit'. _Get glasses Dumbledore!_ Everyone's been in the Christmas spirit since the middle of last month! But he was looking at me when he said it, but I refuse to get into it. Not since that day when I was seven. Not since…. Well, never mind. But still….

The ghosts are going to carol on Christmas Eve. Must find way to stop it.

Or avoid the Great Hall.

But somehow I don't think so.

_Later_

Slytherin lost another Quiddich match. Second one of the season. Well have to get a better team. Especially since Potter is the Seeker in the next match. And I beat myself up as I say it, but if Potter _is_ as good as his father, we will have to train very hard.

Suddenly in the mood for some wine. Well go to Hogs Head, nobody stares at me there.


End file.
